Common Questions Around Therapy

---

First of all, let me begin by stating that while there are a number of benefits from participating in therapy; it is important to understand what therapy is, and perhaps more importantly, what it is not. 

For one, therapy is not coaching; nor do we prescribe medication. 

As Registered Psychotherapists, we elicit and employ "talk therapy" through a variety of modalities, approaches and support to provide support, clarity, and/or problem-solving skills to our clients in order to create, foster, or enhance the particular coping strategies for individuals, couples, and families alike. 

As for the reasoning behind why people go; the reasons can be as varied as the individuals themselves. As RPs, we can offer both preventative, and interventionary help in navigating issues such as: 

• Anxiety & Depression 
• Self-Esteem Issues
• Relationship Struggles,
• Addictions (Work, Food, Drugs, etc.)
• Guilt & Shame 
• Anger Management
• Fear
• Childhood Issues, 
• Grief and & Loss 
• Stress Management,
• PTSD/Trauma
• Body Image Issues 
• Attachment & Co-Dependency
• Burnout, and 
• Self-harm & Suicide
• Creative Blocks; etc., etc. 

As for what therapy can do for you, as mentioned above, the reasons people elicit the help of a skilled therapist can be as varied as the individuals themselves. 

And while competency and ability will also vary from professional to professional, the evidence continues to show that RPs can be a tremendous asset to: 

• Managing Personal Growth & Development,
• Determining Life Purpose
• Navigating Gender and/or Sexuality Issues
• Fleshing Out Employment/Education Goals/Aspirations,
• Maneuver Through Interpersonal Relationships,
• Define/Explore Spirituality
• Address Family/Marital/Familial Concerns/Issues, and
• Any Other of the Hassles of Daily Life.

While true that, within their specific area of expertise, therapists can provide a fresh perspective on a difficult problem and/or point you in the direction of a solution; there ought to be no doubt that:

• The catalyst for change begins and ends with the individual(s), and 
• The resulting benefit(s) obtained from therapy depend solely on how well the client(s) use the process and put into practice what they have learned. 

One of the most frequently asked questions when discussing the topic of therapy, especially when talking about couples and families is why does it cost so much?

In a bid to do such an important question justice, I’d like to address this topic from two separate angles; competency and relativity. 

When discussing competency, in much the same manner of employing the qualified services of a home inspector prior to signing a mortgage, or seeking the knowledge of a skilled financial advisor prior to making a large investment, I feel it would be beneficial for most of us to elicit the services of a certified therapist at various points in our life; especially prior to engaging in an intimate relationship with another. 

Unlike simply engaging in conversation with a trusted friend who listens well, or attempting to “google-diagnose” a particular condition or circumstance ourselves, a qualified psychotherapist is able see, and dig, beyond the surficial, perhaps even superfluous details and symptoms being exhibited, and identify, and help address the root issues at play. Combining a variety of refined techniques and professional acumen, a skilled counsellor possesses the capacity to gain access to those places inside us where the real hurt exists, and ultimately where real and persisting healing can occur. 

This is because a “registered” psychotherapist (especially here in Ontario) are mental health professionals who have undergone many years of academic, and practical, training in psychotherapy to satisfy the stringent credentialling requirements of the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario (CRPO). Achievement of such a distinction assures the public that the practitioner is licensed, qualified, and authorized, to diagnose and treat mental, psychological, and emotional disorders-health problems within their scope of practice. 

Incorporating, and operating in an “Evidence-based Approach" with respect to our diagnosis and treatment, not only are we able to help you to ease the pain you may be feeling, but also help you gain a sense of hope, and most likely, help in getting you “unstuck” from the position you’re currently in. Most importantly however, evidence-based practices themselves, rely on “safe and effective” courses of treatment which are more likely to yield positive results, while also lessening the risk of furthering the hurt which exists in using more unproven, potentially unsafe treatments.

In broaching the concept of relativity, please know that I understand, and appreciate the financial stuggles many today are facing, and as a result, wish to proceed here with a measure of caution so as not to offend. I say this, because without trying to be the least bit cliché, when talking about cost, what exactly is one’s health and well-being really worth? How about the safety and functioning of one’s family?

You see friend, while it would be virtually impossible to attach any firm and/or assured meta-figures when it comes to therapy given the complexity and sheer volume of unique and cases, statistics in the field shows that, while some clients experience a noticeable change in as little as 6-8 sessions, and nearly 70% of cases are being completed within 20 sessions; the average number of sessions a particular client(s) undergo is 12. More interesting still, is the fact that the numbers show that even the most complex cases experience nearly a 90% success rate within 50 sessions. 

Now, I can certainly appreciate the argument that 50 sessions sounds like a lot, but, let’s break down the numbers in a “worst-case” scenario for effect.

If a family were to see a therapist for 50 sessions, at a standard rate of $200/session, this would cost the family a total of $10,000 should they not have any measure of insurance benefit.

But in comparison, the average family lawyer charging $450/hour, and the average contested divorce in Ontario costing anywhere between $80,000 and $250,000 (not including the division of any family assets). This means that purely from a financial perspective, the dissolution of your marriage/family could easily, and quite readily, total into the high hundreds of thousands, and quite possibly extend into the millions of dollars by time it's all over; an immense amount of money for any family! And when taking into account the even more costly ramifications such as the broken relationships and emotional struggles that are added to the mental anguish which typically results from separation and divorce, all of a sudden $10,000 seems to be a relatively small investment towards avoiding such tragedy does it?  

Again, please don’t take this as my trying to be cheeky. My mind is convinced that most family and relationship members loved each other at one point, and likely still do at some level; but unfortunately. the affection has been tainted and/or impacted by any number of situations/circumstances over the lifespan of the union and can easily go unnoticed to a hurting heart because of the emotional desire to defend our own cause in the name of self-protection. 

Wanting to be more prescriptive than I am reactive in my approach to health and healing, this is why my encouragement for individuals, couples, and families, is always to seek help well before arriving at a point of crisis. As stated at various points on this website, not only do I not believe people are inherently evil, I also subscribe to the notion that knowing the “why” behind what we do, is the key to understanding “how” to do things differently, and thus, unlocking, perhaps even tapping into the love for one another that lies beneath the current rubble. 

Stemming from this perspective, my heart and soul is wholly committed to helping people not only (re)discover the love they share, but also encourage and empower them to once again begin working together to (re)build their respective lives, families, and relationships into something that’s truly enjoyed, rather than purely endured. And in my humble opinion, the cost of even the most prolonged series of therapeutic sessions, pale in comparison to any of the alternatives. 

Please allow me to be bold enough here to implore you to reach out before it's too late!

Starting my response to this ever-important question with a little humour, it’s been said that, “people are often in therapy, to deal with the people in their lives who won’t go to therapy”.

Even though this little quip may have garnered a chuckle in reading it, as just stated above, it is a very real struggle many clients confess to feeling when coming to see me.

And while an individual cannot be forced to attend therapy(outside a court order), I simply recognize the willingness of the attending member(s), and encourage them to continue their own journey towards health and healing autonomously. I do this for two reasons; 

• First, it is my conviction that no work carried out in the name of personal development and growth will ever go unrewarded from a personal standpoint. 
• And secondly, on many occasions, I’ve had family members not only agree to, but also seek out therapeutic services (both with me and other professionals) after seeing firsthand, the progress made by a loved one. 

In fact, as somewhat of a proof of concept to the axiom that people tend to watch more than they listen, I’ve had it confessed to me on a number of occasions, that a loved one’s initiative in seeking help, aided in reducing the stigmatic fear of the other members of their family and in-turn, gave them the empowerment required to make that initial appointment.

So while I certainly understand how difficult it may be for a season when one, or more, members of a family or relationship are resistant to accompanying us to therapy, or seeking out therapy of their own, please allow me to encourage you to continue doing what you feel you must because reiterating my last point; no work put into your own growth and development is ever wasted!

If there's something I've missed, please feel free to click the button below and ask.

And remember, there is no such thing as a stupid question; if it's important to you, then it's important to me!