My Therapeutic Approach
Inclusivity
Because I stand on the belief that we are all anthropologically human before anything else in this life, it is my conviction that we, both as individuals, and a collective, are each deserving of:
- Dignified Love
- Restorative Support and
- Empowering Encouragement
as we seek to work towards a life of health and wholeness.
As such, regardless of who, what, or where you find yourself as an individual, couple, or family unit, I am committed to offering my absolute best to any and all who happen to find their way to the door of Flip Flop Family Therapy
Wellness Through Wholeness
There’s little denying that we humans are a complex bunch.
As evidenced by the manner in which we function, there is naturally a tangible component to our personhood that we can see, touch, and feel; bones, tendons and muscles work in tandem to move and control our body, while a bounty of nerve receptors remain ever-alert to warn us of imminent or occurring danger(s). There is also part of our composition, i.e. intuition, gender, libido, ethical morality etc., which, although cannot be tangibly quantified by any of our current means of measurement, exhibits itself clearly through our interactions. Complicating things even farther is the notion that somewhere within our architecture, beyond the confines of our physical body and brain matter, dwells an incorporeal existence of a living being. The secular world identifies this as our evolved intuition or psyche; Christian, Islamic, and Judaic communities define it as a soul, or spirit, depending on denominational teaching; and Hindus know it as our Atman, or “true self”, which we ourselves must seek to attain.
But regardless of weather we choose to view ourselves as a tripartite, dichotomous or monistic entity, it is exceedingly rare to see a case of mental illness or struggle which doesn't reflect a combination of factors (biological, psychosocial, spiritual etc.) and thus, I believe they must be addressed in tandem, rather than isolation.
As a general principle, I do not subscribe to the belief that we humans are inherently evil at our core; but rather, the trauma and attachment deficiencies we have all invariably suffered at various points in our lives has had, and may be continuing to have, an enormous effect on both our identity and behaviour. This means that "problems" in our lives tend to occur when our acquired (or inherited) vulnerabilities become threatened or strained(whether real or perceived), by internal, or external, factors and we become tangled in a various states of overarousal in one or more of these specific areas.
But because we were designed to survive, we tend to be quite resilient by nature, and thus, when adversity strikes, we tend to default to one of two postures:
- A self-protective state where we resort to, and rely on, our seemingly endless supply of defense mechanisms, to simply "wait out" the storm; or
- We become predatorily combative under the guise that the best defence is a good offense
As it is, neither of these approaches are really beneficial to us reaching our growth and development potential, and as such, I believe it makes tremendous sense to look at the deeper meaning or significance which lie beneath these interactional struggles rather than the overt symptoms being expressed.
At the same time, because our genetics are not our destiny, I do believe that while our circumstances may very well have brought us to, or perhaps is even keeping us in our current situation, we do in fact hold the personal responsibility to commit ourselves (with the appropriate help), to making choices, and forming habits, which promote health and healing. The best thing about all this however, is that these same choices and habits can also assist us in creating, and living out our very best life. And that dear friends, is worth the time and investment!
Integration of Faith & Therapy
Studies continue to show that decisions/convictions about one's life and worldview plays a significant role in how we might deal with the various "crisis'" that arise over the course of our life. And while the available data doesn't support the belief that any one particular creed or conviction makes us any better at coping than another, the evidence is clear however, that how we factor and apply such convictions into our lives surely does.
As it is, it could be said that it's more important to know what type of person has a specific malady, rather than which malady a specific person has because it can make a world of difference in one's capacity to heal if they see themselves as a valuable, and active agent in the stewardship of their life, rather than simply a helpless victim of circumstance. This is why I continue to adopt a posture of compassionate curiosity in a responsibly eclectic and integrative approach to healing because the sheer magnitude of time, energy, and resources we commit ourselves to in attempting to acquire, and sustain, meaningful connection here on earth would suggest that not only are we not the by-product of cosmic happenstance, we were in fact designed, and created, for relationship, community and purpose.
I state this, because if we maintain the posture of having been the result of a circumstantial, strictly evolutionary structure, which "created", and continually prides itself on the never-ending pursuit of progress (higher, faster, longer, stronger) human beings would hold no more value than a stone or blade of grass, and would only curry favour or consideration to the extent required for advancement. Not only that, but the inclusionary and philanthropic concepts such as connection, compassion and empathy, that we all love and promote in our world today, would be as irrational, as they are useless.
Now please understand, I don’t say this to be pessimistic or argumentative in any way, but rather to highlight the fact that YOU, were created with the upmost care and concern, and thus, have immense value in who you are, and what you do; both to yourself and to those you love, live, and exist with on this magnificent planet!
This is why I'm so very passionate about wanting to help!
The more time I spend with others, the more I become aware of the incompleteness of our understanding of the causal factors of any one person's experience of mental illness and struggle; and thus, do my level best to cultivate and maintain a posture of humility and deep respect for the individual, and their pain because to be completely honest, generic assumptions and broad generalizations seldom contribute to a deepened understanding of either.
Being completely candid in this area however, the "raw" truth of it all is, while our human initiatives (psychological or otherwise) may certainly manage or control our situations-circumstances for a time or season, the evidence continues to show that regardless of method, means, or approach used, we eventually, and invariably arrive at a point where we end up with a “backpack full” of stuff we don’t know what to do with. For me, this is where the faith conversation comes in, and it's also the reason I believe it holds much merit within the scope of our healing conversations, and even greater benefit in the counselling environment when seeking to achieve wholistic health.
Perhaps different than most faith-based individuals however, although rooted in a deep personal faith of my own, I do not find it necessary to combatively defend my position, nor am I am at all threatened by the differing experiences or assertions of others within the scope of their own religious affiliation or belief. In fact, I typically take great joy in hearing the phenomenologically inspired stories of how others came to believing, and operating in their own faith journey themselves.
Simply stated, whatever faith means, looks like, or is articulated by my client, I am happy to explore this with the individual in the name of healing and wholeness. As it is, I continue to see the benefit of bringing the element of faith into the counselling office, as scores of clients have confessed what a joy, relief, benefit, and blessing it has been to work with somebody with such a wholistic worldview, and a compassionate curiosity in the therapy setting. Not only that, but they have also lauded the progress made as a result of its inclusion.
On the flip side, convicted by the belief that faith is a very personal issue that many guard close to their core, I fully understand that not all share similar beliefs to others, and there are more still who do not ascribe to any form of faith-based system in their lives at all, and would likely vehemently disagree with my position herein. If this happens to be you right now, please know that you are also more than welcome here at Flip Flop Therapy, and understand that you will also receive the very best I have to offer, and rest assured, I will never attempt to force my, nor anybody else’s faith or belief’s onto you during a session.
Not only that, but a difference of opinion would rarely, if ever, result in affecting the care I provide to another, because I subscribe to the notion that therapy works best when it's offered in a place and posture that emulates, mercy and grace. In short, I am committed to offering my very best to helping any and all who arrive at my door within a posture of sensitivity, understanding, and compassion in all areas of my professional practice and personal conduct!
My ministry is LOVE